On Responsibility

And why we as a society can do better...

I had two no-shows yesterday. Two no-shows in one day. Gosh, I would be hard-pressed to tell you when I last had this happened, if ever in my 17-year career in the health and fitness industry. Granted, neither of these two individuals are my direct clientele. They booked a service I provide with a strategic partner, another coach in the industry. Regardless… this is concerning.

Here’s why… Two people had each booked a 1:1 appointment with a professional. Reminders were sent out, calendar invites were made… and both of these individuals booked their times within 7 days of the appointment… not months out…

Then without notice, without a text, phone call or email… both of these individuals fail to show up at their scheduled times.

Tell me if I’m crazy… and, I believe this is unacceptable.

Perhaps (soft talk acknowledged) I see this more in my field of study than yours. I’m in the personal development and health and wellness field for those of you who are new to me… I’m starting to see a trend. A complete lack of responsibility concerning our personal wellness.

I understand things come up at the last minute. I understand plans change. I also understand how it takes 30 seconds to fire an email or a quick phone call to let someone know that you are unable to make it to the scheduled time. That’s ownership. That’s taking responsibility. That earns respect.

What I’m called to put on the table here today is how that behaviour shapes us in all of the facets of our lives.

Say what you mean, mean what you say…

If we habitually bail on appointments, plans or our word… and we’re okay with it…the deeper thing to consider is how okay we are with bailing on ourselves.

Strong point, right?

Well, tell me I’m unimportant to you without telling me I’m unimportant to you.

I’d tell you to book a time to meet with me and then find something else to do. And make sure you don’t communicate your intentions.

Now take the conflict language out of my statement:

“Tell me I’m unimportant to you without telling me I’m unimportant to you.”

vs.

“Tell me I’m unimportant to me without telling me I’m unimportant to me.”

That hits, eh?

It’s systemic, unfortunately.

Today’s North American culture is consumer-driven. The consumer seems to be protected by the major credit companies, banks and financial service providers regardless of their responsibility to fulfill their word. Contracts, agreements and negotiations are becoming obsolete and quite frankly, I’m concerned about that.

It’s the social proof of our lack of integrity. We no longer prioritize our word. Nor our health. And when the two go hand in hand… abandoning our word when we commit to our health… that’s a double dose of toxicity, ironically - in my case anyway… exactly when these individuals *need my support.

*Need is a strong word. More accurately, they require help. Only if they feel as though they want to change. Unfortunately, many people get addicted to the feeling of being a victim, and when they can bitch and complain about not getting the results they want, that fulfills that desire.

What can we do?

To avoid sounding like a preacher, there are some actionable steps to take for those who’re make-a-plan-bail-on-a-plan kind of people. Most often, it comes from a complete lack of tact and awareness for other individuals around you. I know. I was one of these people. The universe centred around me. I was very much a taker.

If you think that could be you, I suggest volunteering. To help a friend move, to offer a hand at the local food bank. Dedicate time to clean up your neighbourhood. Go down and serve breakfast to the homeless population in your city. Learn empathy by taking a moment to see life from another’s perspective. Learn how to be a better human and how to contribute to society. Start giving. Stop taking. The world is vastly abundant and we can only start to see that when we give what we most desire ourselves.

Then, for those who’re constantly pleasing others and doing things out of alignment for the sake of that other relationship… the “people pleasers” in the room… I learned this super hack. Before committing to any plan, take a breath and say “Let me think about it.” Then, give them a time that you’ll get back to them with a solid answer.

This small act will buy you enough time to consider the implications of your decision and how it will affect you. It also allows for you to stop making commitments you only agree to so the other person shuts up. Whenever you’re in a position to let either yourself down or someone else, please choose the latter.

Learn how to make better decisions, goal-set and create the career you’ve always dreamed of in the music industry with me next week. If you’re a music industry pro in Calgary, grab a ticket to my Live Workshop next Wednesday, August 21 at 8 pm over at Congress Coffee Co.

Tickets are “Pay-What-You-Want”.I’m accepting donations below if you feel called to contributiong your treasure. 💰 If not, that’s okay too. Just show up. You have no excuse…

Or maybe you do. If that’s the case, I ask that you wait until you’re ready to commit to being the best version of yourself. I used to have a saying when I was the full-time strength conditioning coach… “ I can show you how to do them… and at the end of the day, you still gotta do the pushups…”

We’ll see you next Wednesday, Calgary.